Communication done 'nonviolently'

Nonviolent communication, or NVC fosters empathy and supports us to live in alignment with our values and resolve conflict by focusing on shared human requirements. This framework of communication was created in 1964 by an American Psychologist, and International Peace Keeper, Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD. The communication component of Sing Move Regulate focuses on living in alignment with our highest values. In the workshops I refer to this as 'body-based communication', because we are observing ourselves and our current state in the moment, and communicating from this space what we need to maximise our experience. There are basic needs like sleep, air, food and safety. There are many complex needs, depending on ones personal situation and past experiences, these may include autonomy, celebration, trust, power, respect, cooperation, inclusion - the list goes on. We are not labelling the experience as good, bad, right or wrong. Instead we are expressing what is alive and how life in that current moment could be made more joyful.

For adults within their own personal relationships with other adults there are 4 components of NVC. Observation - Feeling - Need - Request.

For children, we combine NVC with the Interoception Curriculum and focus on 3 components - we voice the sensation, link it to an emotion and explore options to regulate our bodies. This is an intricate and worthwhile process that I feel strongly about. It sets them up for so many valuable gains later in their lives. In the examples below I will model the adult using nonviolent communication to address the child.

Observation Your cheeks looks red; I notice that your words are fast; are your legs feeling jumpy? I can see your eyes looking around alot today.

Feeling Do you feel unwell? Are you feeling excitement?

Request How about we; could you please; how about if, why don't we try.

I have modelled some requests on my facebook profile, check them out.

I want to add a disclaimer here - the magic of NVC can only be experienced when the intention to connect with the other person is genuine and we are living in the moment, not in reaction. I learnt this when I was using the model with another adult and couldn't understand why is wasn't working! Once we are clear in our own body and nervous system that our intention is to focus on the solution and not the problem, the solutions become more available.

Workshop facilitator and dear friend runs the 2-day NVC workshops close to Fremantle, her name is Tanya and her email is tanyababaeff@icloud.com. You can subscribe to learn when workshops are being held. Tanya creates a safe, nurturing environment which attracts a genuine following. This is the needs and values list from when I attended the training. It was a game changer for me, and something that I have integrated into my relationships with friends, family and children. I love hearing my children express their needs to me, it has made a huge difference in our house. You can see the cross-over with interoception, right?!

Thats a wrap from me, I hope you enjoyed learning about NVC.